Ok, I'm aware that I go through emotions quicker than I do underwear but.... today was a rough day. Because I didn't have to work right away, I was able to volunteer in Peanut's classroom for a little bit this morning. It all started when Peanut was walking with her class to gym class. A couple of the boys in front of her were goofing off in the hallway. One boy jerked back from the other and smacked Peanut in the face with the back of his head. She was instantly screaming. I took her to the gym then ran to the office for some ice. She seemed to recover from that pretty quickly. I spent the rest of her gym class visiting with her teacher. Around the end of her gym class, I was headed down the hall to clock in for my shift at the daycare. I heard someone crying and then realized it was Peanut. I turned around to go back to the gym and see what was wrong with her. It was then I heard staff yelling my name. When I was fully turned around, I saw the gym teacher rushing toward me with a screaming Peanut in his arms. I didn't have time to think. I scooped her into my arms and took her to the office which was just a few feet away. I set her down on a chair and ran to get some towels to clean her hands as there was a little blood on them. When I started cleaning her up, I saw that she had a bloody nose and mouth. She had cut her lip open and the bridge of her nose was already starting to bruise. She was complaining of a headache but in the same place as always - across her forehead. The principal was at my side helping to clean her up and check her to make sure she was ok. He asked her to check her bottom teeth to see if they would wiggle. She checked her top teeth. He told her no - check the teeth on the bottom. She again checked the ones on top. They repeated this another 4 or 5 times. She just didn't seem to be able to distinguish between the words top and bottom even as I continued to remind her that she needed to check her bottom teeth. Finally, I just reached my finger into her mouth and checked myself. They were fine. Peanut had calmed down quite a bit by this point. She decided she wanted to go wash her hands as there was some dried blood on them. I told her that was fine, set her ice pack down and she stood up to walk to the bathroom. Then she said she was tired. I, at this point, was totally freaked out but managed to hide it. I asked her if she thought her blood sugar was low. She said yes. So, I scooped her up, grabbed the cup of ice the principal had got for her and took her to the bathroom to wash her hands. Then, I carried her to her classroom to check her blood sugar. Her BG was 362. I spoke with her teacher briefly about what all had happened. I told her that Peanut felt tired. She replied, "She looks so pale!" I looked over at my baby girl and sure enough, she looked pale - really pale. Not knowing what else to do at that point, I left Peanut in the capable hands of her teacher and told her to send Peanut down to my room if she seemed tired or if anything else happened. I spent the afternoon feeling stressed and worried. Peanut, however, seemed to recover just fine.
This evening, we got a letter in the mail about Peanut's A1C (an indication of how well controlled her diabetes is.) Her levels were the highest they've ever been. I knew we had to do better. Unfortunately, we have been following all of the doctor's orders and doing everything we should and her numbers were still all over the map. At bedtime I tucked Peanut into bed. I read her a flashlight story. (thanks Aunt S. for starting that tradition - she loves it!) At the end of the story, Peanut told me her arm felt heavy and she thought she was low. I had her say her prayers real quick and went to get the glucometer. Sure enough, her BG was low - 54! That was 2 nights in a row that her sugar crashed at bedtime. There just doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to her BG. I feel like we adjust one way and then her BG switches to the opposite. We had been getting really high readings at night and now she's crashing. It's just so frustrating! I wish we could find the way to control this. I just don't know how to handle this. I feel like we have no control and when her BG isn't controlled there is so much at risk for her. I am ready to be done with diabetes. I really hate this.