Saturday, March 2, 2013

One year later

     Hard to believe it was one year ago that we rushed Peanut to the ER for what turned out to be an aneurism bleed (within an AVM) in her brain. One year ago today we started the roughest year of our lives. One year ago today we weren't sure our baby girl would survive the night, let alone another year.

     One year ago changed our life forever. One year ago took away our "normal" life. One year ago took away our simple life. One year ago forever changed me. This day has been burned on my heart. I will never walk through this day quite the same again. This day is not an easy day for me. So many memories are flooding back to me threatening to spill over in tears at any moment - no matter what else I may be doing at the time. This is the day that my heart was torn to shreds and I am still trusting God to mend it and restore me. 
     Peanut, on the other hand, doesn't even realize what today marks. She is still carefree, happy, life-loving and miraculously, healthy. We still have her. She is still the same girl she was before all of this. That alone seemed like an impossibility one year ago. She is a walking, breathing, learning, loving miracle from God. We chose not to mark this day off as anything unusual. We stuck to our regular Saturday schedule. Both Pumpkin and Peanut had a young authors conference at their school so we spent the morning there. It's amazing how different this day is from last year. We will spend the remainder of this day relaxing at home enjoying our family.
     These days will get easier I am sure. We will eventually return to a normal life. We will eventually stop having appointments with so many specialists and Peanut will eventually be risk free from this AVM. Until then, I lean hard into God, my family and closest friends. Without all the prayers said for Peanut and all of us I don't think we could have carried on this far. 
What a difference in our beautiful baby!