Thursday, February 28, 2013

Tired...

     Well, it's been a long day. I feel like I'm still getting used to a schedule with a job in it! I started working at a day care last November. It's the first real job I've had in over 7 years! It's been a big change and my working days are certainly my tiredest but I am getting through it and actually starting to enjoy parts of it. (Not the diaper changing part...) ;)
     I feel like life keeps moving faster and faster - as I was often warned it would. It wasn't that long ago I decided to really work at this blogging thing. And now, I seem to struggle to find the time to blog my goal 2-3 times each week. Time just goes by so quickly. Tomorrow begins the 3rd month of this year - how is that possible?!
     It has already been nice to be able to look back over my posts and see where I've been emotionally. Just a few posts apart I see that I was distraught over the thought of Peanut losing her hair and then that we had cut 11 inches off to donate to wigs 4 kids! While there is just one post that separates those two, there was a lot of processing, feeling, thinking and working through my emotions. I'm still not thrilled about the idea of Peanut being bald but the fact that she just accepted it so easily has certainly helped.
     On a separate note, I cannot believe how sweet my son is! Pumpkin continues to surprise me with sweet little things he does. The other day he gave me a card he had made. He drew a rainbow heart on the front and printed "to Mom" in his boyish letters. Inside the card he wrote how much he loved me. He also said he would help me on my bad days. So sweet! It's been a rough year on him, I'm sure. With everything Peanut has been through and all the attention that has required from both me and my husband, he has been left behind way too often. He clearly has needed some extra time with me lately and I hope when he gets older he will have lots of memories of us together to remind him how much he is loved. He is such a good boy and so tender hearted and sweet! He brightens my world! It seems anytime we've been apart for more than an hour or so, he runs to me and gives me a huge hug when he sees me again. I know that won't last so I try to truly cherish those hugs and his desire to spend time with me. I hope he can see my heart in the things I do with him. It is hard to give him the time he really deserves and even needs. I just hope that I am able to show him that he is always important to me, always loved and deeply treasured.