What a beautiful snow storm we have had! I love the hush of the world around us after a snow storm. This morning was just precious. Most of the house was still sleeping, the world outside was quiet and calm and everything was covered in a new blanket of beautiful white.
While I am completely ready for spring, this is one thing I love about winter! To make a beautiful morning more perfect, my boss let me know I had the day off and could enjoy this day at home with my kids! We worked on Valentine day cards after breakfast and when their energy seemed over abundant, we went outside to shovel. This afternoon, the boys are playing happily together, Peanut is snuggled up on the couch after her tasty lunch of Cheerios, banana and milk watching some of her favorite PBS cartoons and I have a minute to sit quietly and appreciate the many blessings of my life. The snow angel just outside my window is a beautiful reminder of the blessings we have received over this past year. While they may not always act the part, our children are angels sent from God to bless our lives and test our faith. And God has blessed me with two angels. What an overwhelmingly wonderful gift!
Some things in life (or maybe most) are easier to see through a rear view mirror. As I look back over the last year or so, some things become clearer. I have been on daily meds to prevent migraines for over a year now. The last time I had an appointment with my neurologist, I told her I wanted to quit taking them. I had noticed a numbness when it came to my emotions. I had become tired and uninterested in things that I used to love. I had all the classic signs of depression but felt that the meds were the issue. Because of those and other issues and the fact that my migraines have been so well controlled, she has allowed me to start decreasing my dose. As my dosage has dropped, I have noticed several things. First of all, I'm not as tired as I used to be. Also, I feel like I'm more myself than I have been in a long time. I feel my old passions coming back - not exactly as before but new forms of old passions. I just feel more me. It makes me wonder if I would have responded differently to things if I had not been on these meds. Either way, I am eager to be off of them completely and I am looking forward to getting back to being myself.
I am blessed beyond belief. I guess that is the over-riding thought to everything today. I am blessed. God has blessed us in ways we couldn't have even imagined before. We are moving forward, we are making progress in so many different areas. God has blessed us in such incredible ways. We enrolled our children in a private school this year instead of home-schooling. The entire process has been a blessing. We have been blessed by the people we have met and formed relationships with. We have been blessed by the staff of the school. Just recently we were overwhelmed with the blessing of a scholarship for the kids that covers nearly all of their tuition. We weren't sure how we could pay for this school that we felt was the perfect fit for the kids and was where we are meant to be and yet God made a way. Obviously, we have been blessed with a God-intervening healing. Peanut has come so far from that day she had to be hooked up to all the wires and monitors. Her healing has been a remarkable one full of events and moments I will treasure forever. Her healing has changed all of us in remarkable ways. As we continue on this journey to complete physical restoration for Peanut, I know I can place all my confidence in God. The doctor's told us from day one that the longer an AVM goes untreated, the higher the risk for a re-bleed. However, she has had no problems. Every step of the way, things have gone better than the doctor's expected. They are now preparing to do the last step in her treatment - radiation. This one time dose will take 1-3 years to be effective if it works. The doctors believe Peanut has about an 80% chance of radiation shriveling up the AVM. I could not have imagined that this is where our journey would lead us yet here we are. We are coming up to the finish line of treating the AVM and we are all still here! We are still a family. My husband and I are still in love. We are still healthy and happy! We are blessed. Through the many, many doctor appointments, I began searching for a job that would help pay our bills. God blessed me with a job within the school so I could be right there with both my kids. Above that, the events that led up to me accepting that job clarified for me what I want to do in the next several years of my life. I was given a choice between two jobs that ultimately asked the questions: what do you want to do? What is important to you? Where are you headed? I am so thankful that I was forced to really analyze my life and answer these questions. I am thrilled that God provided me an opportunity to look into myself and see what it was I was searching for. I am incredibly thankful that God has given me a purpose and a window to see what that purpose might be and how I can achieve it. I am blessed. I have an incredible family - parents, brothers and sisters. And I have been incredibly blessed to share my home with one of my sisters. She has been such a blessing to me. I'm sure she can't begin to imagine how much she has helped me. Her constant love, kindness and understanding are a God-send. She has managed this household for over 6 months now and honestly, I don't know what I would have done if she had not been here to make sure dinners were made, the house was cleaned, laundry was done and food was always in this house. She and her husband have worked so well with us - they are both such a blessing. They have carried us through the toughest times of our lives. They have been there at our side through thick and thin. They are precious friends. We are blessed. What a loving God we serve! We are blessed!