Saturday, February 16, 2013

It's just hair... it will grow back

     Well, we made it through our last appointment for Peanut. We were a little concerned about sitting in a waiting room with our by all appearances, healthy daughter and being surrounded with children fighting cancer. However, we didn't realize that this office is not a pediatric office. These appointments are always heavy for me. We talked about the next step in Peanut's AVM treatment plan - radiation. We had to sign a consent form for the procedure which meant we had to go over all the possible risks. I understand why they have to do that but it doesn't make it any easier when they are talking about these risks affecting my 5 year old daughter! Some of the risks are blindness, decreased intellectual function, permanent tingling or numbness to the face, and cancer later in life. A lot of these risks were decreased because of the location of her AVM. The procedure itself will take all day. First they will attach a "halo" to her head and then they will do a CT scan. The doctor's will then have a conference to decide exactly what dose of radiation she will receive. Then, late in the afternoon she will actually receive the radiation. She will be under anesthesia the whole time so we will stay the night in the hospital to monitor her as the anesthesia wears off. It will be a long day for sure. And the one thing that creeps up and bothers me when I know it shouldn't is that she is likely to lose her hair. Her hair has never been cut. She's had a trim here and there but never cut. She fell in love with Rapunzel from Tangled and had decided to grow her hair out like "Tangled". Her hair is about waist length now and it breaks my heart that she may lose her hair. I haven't even begun to think of a way to approach this topic with her. Of course, that probably means that she won't even care! Either way, her procedure isn't until the end of March so we are still waiting. As we wait, her risk for a re-bleed increases. In addition, the radiation takes 1-3 years to be effective so her risk just increases continually. I constantly remind myself to just trust God. He has carried us this far and He won't let us down now. It's a lesson I am still struggling to learn. There are times I think I won't ever have it learned enough.