Well, today I have been blessed with motivation, determination and more energy than I can remember having in a very long time! I had a day at home! This is very rare - I am usually up at the kids school volunteering in my daughter's class or working in the day care so I can be there to check Peanut's blood sugar and administer her insulin. However, today I had a friend who was able to fill in for me! YAY!! I decided to spend the day trying to get caught up around the house. But first, I got a good work out in. I have to get serious about losing weight and the first step is working out regularly. So, after my workout and shower, I sat down for a minute. About 30 minutes later I woke up!! I don't remember ever falling asleep in a chair in the middle of any morning! I was able to get some reading and laundry done. (I even did one load 2x just for extra credit - oh and because I forgot the soap the first time) ;) I put away the rest of the Christmas decorations, filled some of Peanut's prescriptions, got gas in the car, and returned a pair of pants my husband bought about 3 months ago and then decided he didn't like! After picking the kids up at school I did some more laundry, cleaned the garage - including getting 2 bikes up on their hooks and out of the way. Then, I helped my son with his homework and did our dinner routine - not too much work since my wonderful sister does all the cooking! After dinner I packed lunches for tomorrow then re-organized a cupboard that has been driving me crazy for quite a while! It's been a wonderful day and I feel very productive! If it's the workout that did this for me, I need to start doing that everyday!
This evening, Peanut is complaining that her stomach is hurting again. We try not to worry about her but it seems like every time she develops a new symptom it's something major. She had the flu over the weekend but I thought she was over this. It just seems strange that she is sick one day, fine the next and then sick the day after that. I hope it's nothing serious and that whatever this is, it passes quickly. We decided that if she is still feeling this way tomorrow night, we will have to take her into the doctor. I often wonder when she gets sick how different it would be if it were someone else who was sick. Would we react the same way? Would we be as concerned or do we just over-react to every little thing with her? I know that by now I should have no problems trusting God with her health, especially. However, my husband and I have faced the possibility of losing her and it almost broke us. I don't feel prepared to face that possibility again. I'm not sure we could handle another hospital stay or diagnosis right now either. I know it seems like we are making a mountain out of a mole hill but it's hard to not do that with her. We have not been promised anything. We do not know how much time we will have with either of our children. I just pray it is a lifetime and continue to work on trusting God. I know He will continue to take care of us as he has all this time. It's just easy to get caught up in the what-ifs. Time to tell myself no - I will not think this way. Instead, I will choose to trust God. I will choose to enjoy the time we have today - right now. I will be happy to have time with my family. I will trust God to handle the future because I have enough on my plate already. I remember asking my sister-in-law one time how she handled raising her 5 children alone while her husband is deployed. Her answer was so true: "I take it one day at a time. And sometimes, one minute at a time." That is the attitude I must take when I begin to feel overwhelmed. I will not be knocked down by the what-ifs. I will live today. I will love, laugh, and cherish my family and friends. It's a good life I've been blessed with. It's an incredible journey I am on. What a great God we have who loves us more than we could fathom!