Thursday, January 31, 2013

learning to love life through the struggles

     This morning, as I was thinking of all we've been through in the past 14 months, I was burdened with the heaviness of it all. Then, I heard a whisper in my spirit, "What is God trying to teach you through this?" Yes, my life has not been easy lately. Yes, we have a lot of medical struggles. Yes, I am ready to move on to a new chapter of health, laughter and loving life. However, I think before I can move on God wants me to learn to love my life even when life is hard. Even when my daughter has a life threatening birth defect that has not been taken care of yet. Even when I struggle through "bad migraine" days. Last night I tossed and turned, awakening often to the all too familiar intense throbbing in my head. And this morning, as my medications begin to work, I am reminded that this life is temporary. This life is my chance to learn to love God and love the life He has given me. I share my home and life with my sweet sister. We have a wonderful, loving relationship. And God has put us in this home in order to care for one another. She takes care of me when I am down - emotionally, physically or spiritually. And when she is down I am able to do the same for her. She is a precious child of God and God often uses her to remind me of the things in life that are truly important - namely, serving, loving and praising God. I am a blessed daughter of the King most high. I am a daughter of the One who created everything and everyone I love. And if that cannot carry me through these momentary struggles than perhaps the problem is not found in life itself but in my heart. There is so much I have to learn! I will choose to be positive through the physical pain, heartbreak or any other difficulty that comes my way. I choose to love God. I choose to serve Him - regardless of the circumstances of my life. There is so much that I can change by just changing the way I think. I will remind myself that I am blessed. I will remind myself that it is God who has carried me this far. If I were left to do it on my own I would have not lived to see this day. Yes, I have a daughter with one scary diagnosis and another life long diagnosis that at times seems to take over my life. But, my faithful Father is more than able to carry me through this. I have been blessed with an incredible family - sisters, brothers and parents who serve God and speak truth into my life. I cherish my time with each of them. I have been blessed with an amazing husband and two wonderful children. My husband surely has earned an eternal blessing and reward for all the ways he has cared for me - even when I am not easy to love! My children have been accepting and loving of me and their life - even through all the changes of this past year. This morning when I got my warm, tight, good-morning hug from Pumpkin, I told him either his dad or I would pick him up after school. I told him I might not be able to pick him up because I had a bad headache. He kept his one arm around me and with his other hand, gently and lovingly rubbed my head. He has such a sweet, tender spirit - what a gift from God he is to me! We are blessed to live in a country where we are free to worship God as we see fit. We have so many freedoms that I often take for granted. I am blessed with a home, an incredible church, and so many friends who pray with me as I encounter struggles. Friends who love me through everything. Friends who point me to God and remind me that He IS in control and that while this life is temporary and there is so much to look forward to when I get to heaven, there is also so much to love in this life. I pray that I am able to embrace life and begin seeing the positive that surrounds the struggles. God is active in my life. God has worked miracles on my behalf. God cares and sees and knows. And God deserves all my praise, worship and honor. I only have one life to learn to love God, others and this life itself through everything that comes along my path. I better get busy!