Monday, January 14, 2013

If life were more perfect...

     I have been thinking a lot about what I would want my life to look like if I could have it exactly the way I wanted it. What I have learned is that there is no way for me to have everything I want at the same time! So, hopefully each of these things will come in a different season of my life and at the end of my life journey, I will have some truly remarkable stories to share with my children and grandchildren.
     I have a huge desire to go back to school. I am not willing to go into debt right now for that and I honestly couldn't handle school right now. I would have to get past some of Peanut's medical issues and find a more stable time in my life to make that work. I would love to earn a Master's Degree in Child Psychology and/or education. I loved my years in college but find myself now with a photography degree I just don't have any interest using. Ultimately, I would like to work as a Child Life Specialist. I never would have known this field existed if it weren't for Peanut's brain AVM. A Child Life Specialist teaches children and their families how to cope with some of the most difficult times in life - times of illness. They have been a God send to us! They have taught Peanut how to handle pain, new procedures and tests, how to become comfortable with all the medical paraphernalia in her room. They also teach the parents how to help their child and how to work through this difficult time themselves. On top of all of that, they also help assess siblings' understanding of what is going on and help fill in any gaps they discover. There is just so much they do and I have been blown away by their ability and desire to stand by the family and help them walk down this incredibly tough road. I would love to someday have a job working as a Child Life Specialist. Just another thing to add to my list of to-dos. :)
     I spend quite a bit of time volunteering in my daughter's kindergarten room. I thoroughly enjoy it and would love to spend more time volunteering in the kindergarten rooms. I love watching the children grow and learn and I love discovering their unique personalities as the year progresses. I enjoy the friendships with the teachers and being a part of something that I feel is one of the most important things in life - education. If life were more perfect, I would not have to work and could volunteer in the school as much as I wanted while making time to pursue my master's degree.
     One of the most important things to me is that I develop deep, lasting relationships with my children and extended family. I don't feel that I am a spectacular mother. However, with God's help I know I can reach this goal. I want to be a huge part of my children's lives - all through my life. I want to babysit my grandchildren and share vacations together. I want to share interests and passions. I want to always be sincerely interested in whatever interests my children. I want to become a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and eventually, grandma. I want to share rich relationships with people from all walks of life. I want to be known as a true friend who is always reliable, loving, caring and giving. I want to give of myself before I worry about taking care of myself. I have so much to learn in this area. I don't feel like I have all the tools necessary to be as great a friend as I'd like to be. However, I am willing to become better. I am so thankful for the relationships I have now and the patience and grace that is continually extended to me. I am overwhelmed with the kindness of my friends - new and old. :)
     As I continue this journey, I want to travel! There is so much in this world to see and do and I want to be able to point to all sorts of things and say, "I was there. I did that!" I want to spend some time in all sorts of places - maybe a summer in California, several months in Europe, missions trips, safaris, lots of vacations and cruises, photos and memories from all over the globe! I love traveling. I love seeing new places and exploring new areas. I haven't had a big trip in way too long - over 10 years! I hope the rest of my life journey includes lots and lots of traveling!
     Of course, there is no way for me to know what this life will bring, but I hope I am able to embrace whatever may come and always see life as an adventure. I want to love being alive and just enjoy the ordinariness and incredible uniqueness of my every day. I want to embrace life and live every day to the fullest. I want to learn to appreciate a quiet, calm, even boring day at home as much as I enjoy the most adventure filled day of my life. I want to show my children that life is FUN! It is full of adventures if you just know how to see them. What an incredible life awaits me...who knows what is coming around the next curve in the road!! :)