Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


     Okay, so I may have totally forgotten that I even have a blog for the last little bit - oops!! I am working on getting myself back into a routine with everything - obviously don't have that one figured out yet! :)
     We had a great Memorial Day weekend! We were able to go to a local dog show, hot air balloon launch and fireworks display - our Memorial Day tradition. Peanut loves ALL the dogs and seems to make it her goal to pet every dog there. So, she'll run from one dog to the next without even letting the owner finish their sentence! That was pretty much the way things went until she found it... the one dog she had asked and asked me if we would see. I insisted that there was no such thing as a pink dog. But, wouldn't you know it, she proved me wrong once again! She found a black poodle who had half her fur dyed bright pink! She spent at least 20 minutes petting that dog and letting me know that it was "the softest dog ever! If the owner would have allowed it, I'm sure she would have brought the dog home! Pumpkin, on the other hand was mostly interested in wrestling with his cousins! He still enjoyed himself - it was just a different type of enjoyment. I'm sure his favorite part was the stop at the toy store. At this particular toy store, they have all sorts of toys out for the kids to play with so he always loves a visit there! The hot air balloons were a treat as always. We got to see 2 launches and their balloon glow that night. It truly is a great family tradition that we all enjoy!
     On Monday, when we were thoroughly exhausted from all our fun the day before, we decided we needed to get our garden put in. We got a late start but worked steadily all day. We expanded our garden this year - we have our "small" garden - 10 feet by 23 feet - and we expanded our "big" garden to 30 feet by 30 feet. My husband would tease me everytime I said, I don't know if we are going to have room for this! We managed to get everything planted except the potatoes which hopefully will be planted in the next day or two - or as soon as the rain slows down! My husband and I agree that there are not many things (nothing we can think of right now) that are more beautiful than freshly turned soil with a beautiful green plant in it. Of course, a lot of our garden just looks like freshly turned soil since we planted seeds but still the starter plants we bought are absolutely beautiful! My husband's dream is to retire and become a farmer. Of course, with our 1/2 acre that would involve moving so it's a dream that is a little ways off in the future. For now, we make the most of the land we have and enjoy trying new varieties and new plants every year. This year we planted 10 tomato plants - 7 different varieties including orange, yellow, stripey and even, purple! We also planted squash, pumpkin (which are so much fun to grow!), watermelon, canteloupe (our first year to grow melon!), corn, radishes, eggplant (yum!), lettuce, snap peas, cucumber, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, celery and beans. It's going to be a beautiful harvest! And I'm sure we will have PLENTY to share! I must say, this has become one of my favorite things to do and watching the garden grow has become a beautiful part of my summer! :) Oh - and just a side note, it only took us about 9 hours to get the garden beds ready and planted! LONG day but it will certainly be worth it in the fall!

Monday, May 13, 2013

This messy life...

     I an convinced that life is supposed to be messy. I have lived a large part of my life in a protected comfort-zone of solitude or living in community with a very few close family members/friends. I haven't been overly involved in anyone's life. When Peanut got sick, I pulled even further into my solitude comfort zone. Life was too hard so I withdrew into myself which has always been my easiest coping method. I have accepted that this is not how God designed us to live. However, finding the correct way to change that is a whole different story. I want to be involved but it's not as easy as just having the desire. I really struggle to be there for others when it's an inconvenience for me or makes me uncomfortable. So, I am working at prying myself out of my comfort zone. I am seeking ways to be more involved in my friend's lives. I am hoping to find a way to live outside myself. I know this is something that needs to change and I believe that decades down the road I will be thrilled I made the effort to change this part of me. It's time to roll up my sleeves and see how many different ways I can serve those around me.
     When I think about how we are meant to live, I immediately reflect on the life of Jesus. There were times when he withdrew to be alone and pray. I understand that part of him - that need in me is usually in hyper-drive! However, most of the time Jesus extended himself beyond what was comfortable, usual or what He desired. Although I cannot quote book chapter and verse, I recall stories when Jesus was ready to begin something different or move on to another town but he stopped because his heart was moved by the people he was surrounded by. His heart broke for those around him. His life had to be the messiest life I've ever heard of. He surrounded himself with outcasts and consistently ministered to those considered to be undeserving, immoral, or just plain unacceptable. He loved all men and served everyone with love and grace. It is His life I must strive to follow. It is His example that will prompt me to become a true Christ follower. He is the one that will shape me into the woman he wants me to be - a woman I can love.

Monday, May 6, 2013

ups and downs of T1

     Well, we are continuing to work toward the right medication dose for Peanut's diabetes. Lately, I feel like it's been all over the place. She will go from low 100s before breakfast to over 300 at morning snack time then back down to low 100s by lunch, 300s again at mid-day snack and tonight - a shocking 41 at dinner time. I can't figure out what is going on with this girl! She is just all over the place with her BG readings! It's a bit frustrating to not be able to point your finger at the culprit and then adjust it so that her readings can be in a healthier range. On top of that it just exhausts her. She becomes moody and weepy. Poor girl! It certainly is a juggling act to try to control her diabetes. I'm sure other parents of T1 kids feel the same way. It's frustrating and never ending. I am still working on learning to live with this and accept everything it means for our life. It truly can be a life-consuming illness. For now, we will keep working towards a healthier Peanut and trust that someday there will be a better way to manage her diabetes.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Rough day

     Ok, I'm aware that I go through emotions quicker than I do underwear but.... today was a rough day. Because I didn't have to work right away, I was able to volunteer in Peanut's classroom for a little bit this morning. It all started when Peanut was walking with her class to gym class. A couple of the boys in front of her were goofing off in the hallway. One boy jerked back from the other and smacked Peanut in the face with the back of his head. She was instantly screaming. I took her to the gym then ran to the office for some ice. She seemed to recover from that pretty quickly. I spent the rest of her gym class visiting with her teacher. Around the end of her gym class, I was headed down the hall to clock in for my shift at the daycare. I heard someone crying and then realized it was Peanut. I turned around to go back to the gym and see what was wrong with her. It was then I heard staff yelling my name. When I was fully turned around, I saw the gym teacher rushing toward me with a screaming Peanut in his arms. I didn't have time to think. I scooped her into my arms and took her to the office which was just a few feet away. I set her down on a chair and ran to get some towels to clean her hands as there was a little blood on them. When I started cleaning her up, I saw that she had a bloody nose and mouth. She had cut her lip open and the bridge of her nose was already starting to bruise. She was complaining of a headache but in the same place as always - across her forehead. The principal was at my side helping to clean her up and check her to make sure she was ok. He asked her to check her bottom teeth to see if they would wiggle. She checked her top teeth. He told her no - check the teeth on the bottom. She again checked the ones on top. They repeated this another 4 or 5 times. She just didn't seem to be able to distinguish between the words top and bottom even as I continued to remind her that she needed to check her bottom teeth. Finally, I just reached my finger into her mouth and checked myself. They were fine. Peanut had calmed down quite a bit by this point. She decided she wanted to go wash her hands as there was some dried blood on them. I told her that was fine, set her ice pack down and she stood up to walk to the bathroom. Then she said she was tired. I, at this point, was totally freaked out but managed to hide it. I asked her if she thought her blood sugar was low. She said yes. So, I scooped her up, grabbed the cup of ice the principal had got for her and took her to the bathroom to wash her hands. Then, I carried her to her classroom to check her blood sugar. Her BG was 362. I spoke with her teacher briefly about what all had happened. I told her that Peanut felt tired. She replied, "She looks so pale!" I looked over at my baby girl and sure enough, she looked pale - really pale. Not knowing what else to do at that point, I left Peanut in the capable hands of her teacher and told her to send Peanut down to my room if she seemed tired or if anything else happened. I spent the afternoon feeling stressed and worried. Peanut, however, seemed to recover just fine.
     This evening, we got a letter in the mail about Peanut's A1C (an indication of how well controlled her diabetes is.) Her levels were the highest they've ever been. I knew we had to do better. Unfortunately, we have been following all of the doctor's orders and doing everything we should and her numbers were still all over the map. At bedtime I tucked Peanut into bed. I read her a flashlight story. (thanks Aunt S. for starting that tradition - she loves it!) At the end of the story, Peanut told me her arm felt heavy and she thought she was low. I had her say her prayers real quick and went to get the glucometer. Sure enough, her BG was low - 54! That was 2 nights in a row that her sugar crashed at bedtime. There just doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to her BG. I feel like we adjust one way and then her BG switches to the opposite. We had been getting really high readings at night and now she's crashing. It's just so frustrating! I wish we could find the way to control this. I just don't know how to handle this. I feel like we have no control and when her BG isn't controlled there is so much at risk for her. I am ready to be done with diabetes. I really hate this.

Monday, April 22, 2013

I sure do love the sunshine!

     I cannot believe what a huge difference a sunny day makes for me! I have just loved the beautiful weather we have been having lately. The last 2 days I was able to spend quite a bit of time outside working on the yard and flower beds. Afterward, I felt so energetic and happy! I'm not sure how long I will be up tonight - my energy just isn't lagging! This is what makes me want to move somewhere sunnier. Somewhere warmer. However, that doesn't seem to be part of God's plan for us right now so I will just take advantage of any sunny days we get!
     Today was a really good day for that and other reasons. Today was the first day this school year that I was able to spend the entire school day away from the school building! I spent the morning visiting with my parents and then spent a quiet, peaceful, heavenly afternoon home alone, eating my lunch in peace, while it was hot, without any interruptions! I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed my time! It was wonderful to be relaxed enough to really enjoy my time even though I was 20 minutes away from Peanut. I'm hoping that this will bring lots of good things next year! I didn't even do anything all that wonderful. I watched some of my favorite TV shows while I did some long overdue work on my computer. Nothing really thrilling but I had forgotten what it was like to be home during the day. And I don't know if I've ever spent that much time without my kids with me! I feel rejuvenated - I'm thinking this needs to become a weekly thing. It's amazing how much of a difference this has made! I definitely will be starting this! As it happens, I have one day each week that I don't work at all - what a wonderful day that is going to be for me! I can scrapbook, be lazy, get some housework done, and, overall, feel like a normal person! :)